Archive: Senior TechLeaders: “Women’s Leadership” Notes

November 3-4, 2005
Microsoft, Redmond, WA

Poster Boards

Board 1

  1. Knowing when you are ready to take the next step?
    • Boredom
    • Dissatisfaction with status quo
    • Recognition by others that you are ready
    • Personal Drive; money
  2. What is the next step?
    • Knowing self and strengths
    • Know spectrum of opportunities
    • Mentor assessment of opportunity/match
    • Personal goals
    • 360 degree assessment
  3. How to prepare for and obtain the transition
    • Knowing current capabilities
    • What else needs to be developed
    • Self promotion (communication)
    • Leveraging strengths
    • Embracing the risk
    • Create support system for new position
    • Preparing for feedback
    • Prepare to be out of your comfort zone

Board 2
Difficult Conversations

Giving feedback:

  • Worries – inflicting pain, hurt, negative impact on life, won’ be liked, hurt self-esteem, fear and retribution.
  • Our impact – what to do in response to crying or anger; lt it happen, validate it.
  • How to maintain “control” self perspective; don’t’ offer to reschedule meeting for another time.

Getting feedback:
- Feeling powerless, our of control, misunderstood
- Feel like a failure, helpless, core being questioned
- Defense stance. Need to marshal argument in real-time

Type pf feedback:
True: privately given, take time to understand, write it down.

False: in large audience anger may be appropriate but based on your understanding of the information “Like to come back and tell you more later.”

Board 3
Accepting you can’t do it all, making good choices and how to allocate your limited time and energy:

  1. Set time and space aside for strategic thinking, self reflection and big picture thinking.
  2. Effectively manage expectations and communicate it.
  3. Ask yourself why you are doing something.
  4. Is there someone else who can do it?
  5. What can you delegate or get others to step up to do?
  6. Make personal choice for priorities/goals; use these to guide your actions.
  7. Be realistic.
  8. Identify and use mentors to get external feedback.
  9. Teach others to “fish”.
  10. It is possible that you have to arbitrarily reduce your workload.
  11. Learn how to do some things badly.

Book recommendation: “How to Get Control of Your Time and Life”, Alan Lakein

Board 4
Accepting you can’t do it all. Why are we overcommitted?

Internal factors:

  • Perfectionism
  • Need to achieve
  • Proactive vs. reactive
  • Difficulty prioritizing
  • Self-care (neglect)
  • Guilt Management
  • Over developed sense of responsibility

Strategies:

  • Define core values
  • be honest with your self “put your own oxygen mask on first”
  • Actually take a vacation (plan in advance)
  • Take time to assess
  • Celebrate ourselves “you can have it all, but not all at the same time”
  • Longer term outlook
  • less can be more (cost benefit ration – both internal and external)

Board 5
Harnessing (your and others Emotion to Your Advantage

  • Emotion is information which needs to be acknowledged and understood.
  • Understand your triggers and understand their triggers.
  • Reframing emotions in a positive way.
  • Knowing your objectives and establishing a shared purpose.
  • Exploit the power of joy, humor and enthusiasm.
  • Avoidance is an emotion and needs to be acknowledged outside the group.
  • Understanding the importance of timing.
  • Use recovery.

Board 6
Managing Peers and Upwards

Organizational chart vs. social information flow

  • Establish trusted connections across levels and organizations.
  • Understand motivations and objectives of others.
  • “Give to get” – give first.
  • Socialize ideas with a broad network.
  • Know the admins and other influencers.

Board 7
Turning around a negative work relationship

  • Establish expectations (your and the other’s).
  • Watch for cues that you are moving off-center, give yourself and others space.
  • Place yourself in the other’s head and try to understand how they perceive your and your actions.
  • Find the place of connections; speak the other’s language.

Board 8
Fostering collaboration and using competition effectively

Vision:
- Process/Tools
- Environment/Culture
- Shared passion
- Open accountability
- Trust
- Win/win
- Expectations
- Common values
- Smart* goals (*Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time bound.)
- Communication
- Respect

Board 9
Persuasion

Preparation:

  1. Pre-bicker and bolster support
  2. Position support around meeting room
  3. Understand audiences and anticipate response
  4. Work indirect and direct connections

Style:

  1. Engage perpetual trouble makers
  2. Feed ego
  3. Verbal strength, no uptick, no “I think”
  4. Learn your own style (Meyer’s Brigg)

Guidelines and techniques

  1. Establish basic principles and then persuade then of details based on principles.
  2. Slow meeting down, water, glasses, deter until later
  3. Eye contact, confidence , avoid action
  4. Rephrase question
  5. Pitch to audience
  6. Progress check

Board 10
Influence or manipulation

  1. Position kills possibility/Interests open them (what is the matrix of responsibilities?)
  2. Understand the landscape/culture (power of precise language)
  3. Does it need to be win/win?
  4. Know when to take a break – walk away
  5. Emotions are both a tool and a limiting factor.
  6. Don’t go in alone; know who your allies are.